Well..heres an interesting development. It seems that a lot of my problems may have been from not so good ram settings.
I had basicly copied ram sets for this memory from a screenshot billb had posted here a long time ago.
I knew he ran this ram and had probably tried the hell out of every possible set. So I just copied them.
The problem was I was trying to run settings he was using for breaking Super PI records.
Well we all know that benchmark settings are rarely good for everday ops, but I hadnt really given it much thought.
Turns out this is the case here as well. He popped in over the weekend and clued me in on some better everyday sets.(thanks bill)
Things are progressing much more nicely now

Getting stable at 3000 using the 183 divider.
This wasnt possible with the previous sets....using the 183 divider it would just freak out.
Also ran my fas-*test*-('") SuperPi 1M run ever at these sets without even trying at 28.047s.
With a little effort I can see high to mid 27's will not be out of the question.
Gonna try a few passes of 3dmark 06 next...thats where my instability was the worst.
That was what had me running 1.6v....and here it might have been the ram freaking out all along.
Currently at 1.55v....going to try and start dropping volts next.